Friday, November 12, 2010

bros

there is this MAN outside my office..


what's up brother??


mannnnnn bro!!


good luck man, see you in a minute bro!


YOU ARE WAY TOO OLD TO BE SPEAKING IN SUCH A MANNER.

IRRITATING.

Monday, November 1, 2010

variety packs

honestly...does anyone enjoy almond joys???? Last night I went trick or treating... ok, James went trick or treating... and he got like 5 almond joys! gross. Almond Joys are the rejects of the variety pack... reeses, kit kats, crunch, butterfingers, hersheys, and then ALMOND JOYS? really?

This got me to thinking about other variety packs. They're always full of rejects... whether is the chips pack which has too many lays and not enough cool ranch dorritos...or the cereal pack with too many RAISIN BRANS and not enough lucky charms.

Why do they do this to us? are they trying to expand our horizons, tricking us into buying the lesser of their brands so we will start to like them and purchase them? are they trying to dissemble families while siblings fight over the last cocoa puffs?


irritating. why can't someone make a variety pack with only delicious options?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

b.o.y.s.

so... I've been inspired by Jenny's brave facebook status about her ideal man and have decided to define mine. Boys in LA irritate me... They are very into themselves... or gay.


I thought I found my ideal man... an accountant from Virginia who likes to fish... but it turns out he was kind of an asshole, didn't own a TV (see previous blog), and might have a drinking problem... IRRITATING.

So... my list of demands has grown... here it goes.

1- Has a real job... aka something in business (no offense to... myself)

2- Ideally a redneck or east coast type... something about Virginia people, I like them.

3- 5'10 or taller, so my family will respect you.

4- A big teddy bear build... I thought I was into the skinny Asians, but I've reevaluated.

5- Loves to watch TV... its my future.

6- Likes to fish/swim/boat/etc.

7- Likes to go out and drink, but does not have a drinking problem.

8- Treats me like a princess and offers to pay for everything (so I can be like... nooooooo you don't have to!!! but really, you have to keep trying)

9- Nothing about me irritates them (ha.)

10- I think I need 10 things... likes to ski/snowboard.




Too much to ask?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

my dependence on technology

Apparently I burned out my battery on my phone... who knew you weren't supposed to use your car charger, pandora, and google maps all at the same time? So. I woke up and my phone was dead...hmmm... did my charger get disconnected? nope... charged it all day at work... nothing. Had to go to the Verizon store... TALK ABOUT AN IRRITATING VENTURE. Anyway, the point is when my phone wasn't working I was completely PANIC STRICKEN. I've had a cell phone attached to my hip since I was 13. Not having it was stressful, and I was very IRRITATED.





Currently... facebook is down. I'm sort of convinced this is Mark Zuckerbergs way of showing the world how attached we are to facebook and use it as a reason to go see his damn movie. WELL, Mark, today is my DADS BIRTHDAY and I need to SIGN HIS WALL so he can experience the JOY of having your facebook blown up on your birthday. DAMN FACEBOOK, you are IRRITATING ME.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

people who sing in public

Last night i went to Michael's... which is generally a sketchy experience. Usually a bunch of school teachers, moms, and I-don't-know-whats. The Michael's in Santa Monica is particularly sketchy with two floors, sub-par organization, and LOW ceilings. While perusing the 50% off bead section (which I found out about in the weekly ad....being an adult is awesome) there was this overweight WIERDO woman. It began with a hum.... then a full on karaoke version of Michael Jackson's Human nature....

Why, Why, Tell 'Em That Is Human Nature
Why, Why, Does He Do Me That Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?


Why, why don't you SHUT THE HELL UP???



I'll admit, I'm a grocery store head bobber... but singing? I don't think so. It especially irritates me when they try to sing well. And is especially embarrassing if they are by themselves.

Next time I'm going to send evil looks in her direction instead of moving to the other aisle and rolling my eyes.
IRRITATING.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

people who put up 'hot' facebook pictures

they irritate me! i think facebook pictures should be one of three things:

1)a funny picture
2)a picture of you and your bff or boyfriend
3)a NORMAL picture of you/your face (and this is my least favorite)

I think its really annoying when people put up sexy pictures of themselves... like, get OVER yourself.


IRRITATING.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

i'm a happy person

Do people stare at me when I'm driving? I think I'm a very interesting person. The past couple of days I've been thinking about myself in the car a lot.

When I was sick I would blow my nose in the car and then throw the tissues violently to the passenger side of the car and sometimes scream out of irritation of being sick (look at that!!! IRRITATED!)do people see me?

Every morning I put my make up on in the car... this I think people find is normal, until I pull out the eyelash curler... that, I think seems dangerous

I constantly sing in the car.. and occasionally tribal beat on my dashboard. do people see me? what do they think I'm listening to? would they be surprised to find out I'm jamming to Christina Aguilera circa 1999?

Yesterday I sang a verse of 'I don't want to miss a thing' on Kerry's voicemail... that, I think, was a very special moment in our friendship.

the only thing that irritates me is unbloggable

AND THAT IS IRRITATING.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

booking flights

I want to go HOMEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Booking flights is so irritating. Is there a reason they have to make it so difficult? I want to go home, I want to go for as long as I can - aka overnight friday and fly back balls early on a monday... its like... 600 dollars. WHATS UP WITH THAT. All summer is so expensive. I've given up on a holiday weekend. I just want to go to my damn lake house with my best friends!!! I'm going to have to bang someone in hollywood with a private yet (sorry parents) bahaha.

Anyway... can one of my loyal readers find me a good fare?

I want to go home this summer... no holiday weekends, not the last weekend in july, and, well, basically not in august. THANKS!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Men who leave the toilet seat up



Seriously!!! Manners anyone? There's nothing worse than a man who leaves the toilet seat up. It's unbelievable! In a boy's apartment, where there are only boys living there, maybe... but in my office?? No way! If you come over to my apartment?? No way!!! DIDN'T YOUR MOTHER TEACH YOU MANNERS?!?! It's my biggest pet peeve. While we're on the subject... people who don't change the toilet paper roll! IRRITATING.

Friday, June 18, 2010

life's not fair... and it's irritating.

so... today i get to work, after running THREE work related errands... and the elevator is not working. I was parked on the 5th floor and carrying a coffee traveler, my purse, and a dozen donuts. irritating.

passed a friend on the way down.... 'the power is out! Its gonna be out all day!!!!'

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... so I thought.


So. We had a casting session. My brilliant idea to use the flip cam... SAVED THE DAY. WHAT UP.

Had a delightful morning, no phone calls, no nothin.


So... the end of the session is approaching. The power is out... we can't work... LETS ALL GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



NOT.


The power turned back on. irritating.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

hot guys that smoke cigarettes

so disappointing/irritating when you see a hot guy and they are smoking. Even worse if you meet a hot guy and you're like... damn he's hot and then he pulls out a cigarette.

I mean... is smoking really still cool? I don't think it is... I don't get it.

What's the point? It effs up your lungs, makes your teeth/FINGERNAILS yellow, and makes you smell bad.

HELLO. Do you dumbasses know that its addictive? You're going to end up smoking two packs a day when you're 50!

I seriously just don't get the point. And I think its a complete turn off... no matter how hot you are you don't look hot smoking that cigarette.

Smoking cigarettes - ew, IRRITATING.


Ok... still kind of hot... but seriously... wag wag wag.

Friday, June 11, 2010

not getting everything i want

I'm really irritated by the fact that I can not have everything that I want. I'm also irritated that I'm so responsible with my money. If I was not... this is what I would buy right now (in order of preference):

CHANEL SUNGLASSES + prescription lenses - $400New computer because my wireless card crapped out - $600
Trip home during the summer to go to Lake Anna - $500
Plane ticket to vegas to stay in a free hotel... tomorrow... - $300
Beach cruiser bike - $100
24 hour fitness gym membership (2 years via costco)- $300
A sponge surf board - $100
Car wash by Tito- $30



Can someone please give me $2,330.00? Thanks.

Monday, June 7, 2010

gardeners and trash men

ok. its been a month since i've blogged. whammy. maybe i'm a happier person and i'm not so irritated?!! god!!! Or maybe you bitches are the ones that are irritating me and i can't blog about it because i don't want to hurt your feelings?! EVER THINK ABOUT THAT?! COMPLAINERS... irritating. haha just kiiiiding!

BUT. I do want to discuss something.

WHY THE HELL WAS I WOKEN UP BY LAWN MOWERS AND WEED WACKERS THIS MORNING?!

Jesus. 7 AM those fuckers were out there creating quite a riot! Generally, I'm prepared for those douche bag trashmen that come on Tuesdays but today is Monday! It seemed to go on for hours. I don't know why I didn't get up and close my window. But I didn't. Instead I just thought about how IRRITATING it was and gave them the middle finger, even though they couldn't see it...

Every Tuesday irritates me too. Its started to make me hate Tuesdays. Why does it take so long to get the trash? WHY does it make so much noise? WHY CAN'T YOU COME LATER?!?!


GOD. IRRITATING.

Friday, May 7, 2010

word verifications

You know when you have to verify that you're not some crazy computer program thing? Well... I suck at it. I always get it wrong and i feel like a rah-tard. Sometimes I think its completely unnecessary. I sort of get Ticketmaster... so you're not buying like a thousand tickets at once... sort of... but its required to comment on a blog... give it a try! And its required to send a link in fb chat... really??? IRRITATING. Sometimes I get it wrong over and over again. I have to click on that little handicapped thing. Its like... is that an 'l' or a '1'????? is that an 'h' or an 'n'???? Whats a 'neddagge'? Is that a word?
"The characters you entered didn't match the word verification. Please try again."

IRRITATING.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Girls that try to be 'one of the guys'

why don't you try to be one of the girls and go get a pedicure or drop some dollas at Nordstrom, girl?

Girls that play sports annoy me. Ok you can play girl sports **cough cough katie its ok you play volleyball don't yell at me cough cough** But it annoys me when girls play sports with boys, example-football/baseball. I went to this friendly softball game the other night, i wore a dress and boots to ensure i would maintain my position on the sidelines. There were these really aggressive girls playing/flirting... i guess. They were yelling sports terms and running bases and things. I'm like... you're not a boy, why don't you go do some yogalates or something.. whatever, i can't accurately describe how irritating these girls were... but i was irritated. go team! home run! irritating.

Another thing that irritates me is when girls play video games. Its one thing to pretend to play video games so that your older brothers nerdy friends want to date you, but its a whole other thing if you have your own WOW account... like seriously?...shut it. irritating.

Lastly, girls that can drink alot. Please do not try to out drink a boy... its annoying, disgusting, and generally not something to be proud of. CHUGGING CONTEST!!! no. Girls... even if you're not dainty, do me a favor, pretend. Stay classy ladies... or prepare to irritate me.

Monday, April 19, 2010

playing hard to get

ugh. playing hard to get is not a skill i possess and is something that irritates me quite a bit!!!!

if i like someone, i like them. i don't get why it has to be some big secret game... especially after it is established that i like them and they like me. hello!!!!

its like... ohhhhhhhh i like you but i'm going to pretend i don't that much and like i have this awesome life and i'm not just sitting around watching project runway on dvr wondering if you're going to text me.


i am by NO MEANS a feminist... but if i want to text you... i'm going to text your ass. mostly because i can't control myself and have no patience. anyway, if you don't write back, you're a douche...and i'll probably continue to text you and continue to be dissappointed/irritated!



boys.... IRRITATING!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

live versions of songs


does anyone really enjoy live versions of songs? i mean... unless you are there?

i don't want to hear people screaming...

i especially don't want to hear them singing along...

and i don't want to hear you talking...

so dear pandora, how many times do i need to thumbs down live versions before you GET THE POINT??!?!?!??


god. IRRITATING.

people who update their statuses everyday about how much they love their boyfriend

we get it. you are in love. you are soooo happy. you can't stand being away from him. shut the hell up! no one cares! i'm thinking about unadding you its so IRRITATING.

Monday, March 22, 2010

forgetting to wear a belt

I am a compulsive belt wearer. Forgot one today... how many times am I going to have to pull up my pants. How many people are going to see my butt crack? IRRITATING.

Friday, March 12, 2010

being an adult

man. it really sucks. i'm so over it.

these are the things that irritate me about being an adult:

waking up every morning at 8 AM and going to work everyday...and if you bitches comment about how you wake up at 7, i don't care, and it will irritate me.

my 40 minute commute... and if you bitches comment about how yours is an hour, i don't care, and it will irritate me.

getting gas... i used to get gas like every two weeks... now its every 5 days. and i always put it off. and i never want to do it. and its irritating. and my gas light always goes on the day i'm late... and its just irritating.

showering everyday. ok... i've always showered everyday. but it was never a chore. now i get home at 8. eat my dinner in my bed. and i'm like ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i have to showerrrrrrrrrrrrr i'm tooooo lazyyyyyyyy. but i have to shower at night bc there is NO WAY i would actually wake up early enough to shower and i don't want to SMELL. but seriously... some days i wish i was just magically clean.


how at the end of every weekend there's a new work week... and its never going to end! irritating.

going to work 5 days a week... what? i have friday classes this semester? irritating.

you can't skip work like you could skip class. remember when you could skip class and no one would notice? you could just decide not to go. now its like... oh i need to go to the dentist... WELL YOU BETTER GO AT 8 AfreakingM so you don't miss work! irritating.


you can't wear sweatpants to work and its generally frowned upon if you walk in with wet hair... irritating.


taxes... wtf. irritating.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

vegans

They're animals.... whatever... lets eat them!

Vegans irritate me....

Today someone said they were excited about buying vegan cheese! CHEESE COMES FROM COWS. Does it even hurt the cow to make cheese? pretty sure it does-n't.

Also one time I had a vegan chocolate chip cookie and it was weird.


IRRITATING.

Monday, March 1, 2010

car alarms

especially when I am napping at work on the 'casting couch'.... IRRITATING.

Friday, February 19, 2010

LA gas stations... BEEP.

For all of my east coast readers, aka almost everyone, you would NOT BELIEVE how many times the damn gas pump beeps at you in LA. Let me enlighten you...


Welcome to Mobil please insert card or pay cashier.

(insert card)

Registering card... BEEP

Card accepted... BEEP

Please select grade... BEEP

Grade selected... BEEP

Begin Fueling... BEEP

(a brief moment of peace)

Finished fueling... BEEP

Do you want receipt? BEEP

Press yes for receipt... BEEP

Receipt printing.... BEEP

Thank you for choosing Mobil... BEEP!


IRRITATING!

Friday, February 12, 2010

things getting discontinued

examples:

my nerd coffee

the chicken pot pie at the nordstrom cafe

garlic cheese at costco

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

celebrity guest post!

you know what irritates me? people who tell bad jokes that happen to be offensive and then try to cover for the fact that their joke was terrible by saying that if you don't laugh, you don't have a sense of humor. no! i didn't laugh at your joke because it was not funny not because it was offensive!

I agree celebrity guest poster, IRRITATING.

Friday, February 5, 2010

rain.

when rain gets on my glasses... irritating.

the way LA people drive in the rain... irritating.

the way LA people drive the day after the rain... irritating.

when my windshield wipers make that scratchy noise... irritating.

when you accidentally step in a puddle... irritating.

when your jeans get wet and remain wet all day... irritating.

how impossible it is to wake up when its raining... irritating.

hydro planing... dangerously irritating.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

things that smell bad

So... I got this new face stuff for blemishes... its called eradikate by Kate Somerville... I would totes recommend it. its kind of amazing actually. the only problem is it SMELLS AWFUL. I mean... that's probably why it works so well but it IRRITATES ME. I'm trying to sleep and I'm like... god what is that god awful smell? Its especially irritating when i have a 'blemish' near my nose.

ANYWAY, lets talk about other things that smell bad and irritate me...


Cheap soap in a public bathroom...... IRRITATING.

My apartment... because my Nana's dog is POORLY TRAINED... IRRITATING.

Smelly people... because they make me think its me that I smell bad.... IRRITATING.

People who would come to class hungover and smelling like alcohol... IRRITATING.

When you throw up and the smell of vomit gets stuck in your nose... IRRITATING.

People who take off their shoes and have smelly feet... IRRITATING.

Seafood (i don't like it. and i don't like it when other people order it.)... IRRITATING.

Really good food that smells bad (Stouffers macaroni and beef- yeah, i know it smells... Kerry... but its soooo good)... IRRITATING.

People with smelly hair... especially curly smelly hair... IRRITATING.

Burnt popcorn. IRRITATING.


Comment other things that smell bad and IRRITATE you... Does it IRRITATE you that I'm shamelessly begging for comments? Deal wit it.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

People that spell their names in a complicated way

I'm going to continually update this one...


Just got an email from someone names 'CORTNEY'... its COURTNEY... IRRITATING.

Men named Lindsey... or Courtney for that matter... IRRITATING.

VINESSA.... REALLY???? IRRITATING.

CRISTIAN.... its CHRISTIAN.... asshole.

people that 'don't watch tv'

Why not? What DO you do? Why do you think you're too good for TV? TV is my future... bitches... my business. I'm offended. That's like me telling my dad I don't buy gasoline. TV is amazing. Its an escape. Its interesting, entertaining, even educational sometimes. People who say they don't watch tv are lying, and people who don't own tvs are idiots. They IRRITATE ME.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

a lot of things.

1- people who send post cards in envelopes.
Everyday we get a shit load of mail... which just irritates me in general. I literally throw almost everything out... if you are an actor and reading this... STOP MAILING ME SHIT. Its called the internet. Anyway... actors send out these post cards. They're irritating. and ESPECIALLY irritating when I open up an envelope and find one. THEY'RE POST CARDS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT THEM IN ENVELOPES!!! The postage is cheaper! Save a damn tree! In fact, SAVE A DAMN FOREST AND STOP SENDING ME MAIL.

2- Verizon
So... This weekend I went and got a DROID, which I LOVE, in DIAMOND BAR, CA (which is an hour away from my house, I was visiting my cousins). I bought my droid, a headset, and a car charger... first of all, I'm irritated at the fact that I was dumb enough to buy accessories at the Verizon store... they're like 80% cheaper online. So I decided to return them at the Verizon Store near my house... NO... I bought them at a 'registered Verizon dealer' not a 'Verizon store' ............. so I have to go back to the store I bought them at. Luckily, there is one in Pasadena (less far away) but it is still IRRITATING.

3- Pandora
Pandora literally is the greatest invention ever invented. I was so excited about getting my DROID because I can listen to Pandora in my car... Yeah, it can be irritating when it stops and says 'still listening?' but that's something I can deal with. Today, it stopped and I said outloud to myself, 'yes i'm still listening!!!' But no.... Pandora told me that I have listened to my allotted '40 hours a month' and I would have to pay to keep listening. WTF. IRRITATING.


4- BEJEWELED BLITZ
I'm not doing anything at work right now (clearly, with the length of this blog) and I'm going to be alone in the office for the next 30 minutes. BEJEWELED MARATHON!!!!!!!! NO. Bejeweled blitz on facebook is being updated... IRRITATING.

Friday, January 22, 2010

when spicy food makes your nose run

thats just irritating. in fact, my nose runs all the time and it is IRRITATING. that is all.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

choosey beggars.

Today I stopped for donuts on my way to work... what, I've gotten really into donuts, ok? Anyway, I pull into the parking spot right in front of this 'homeless man.' He say's 'do you have any spare change?' I was in a good mood so I said... 'I might in a minute!' But then I didn't have any cash so I was paying with my card. I decided to be a GOOD PERSON and buy this man breakfast. So I walk out all cheery saying...

Me: I got you breakfast!!
Hobo: Oh, I'm not hungry.
Me: What? I got it for you!!
Hobo: I already ate breakfast and I'm on a special diet.
Me: umm... ok...


WTF. IRRITATING. He could have just taken it and a-thrown it away or b-saved it for later... if he really needs money that means he needs food! What do you need my money for you choosey beggar? Thanks for ruining my day! In the words of Kerry, Alli, whoever else thinks they came up with it....


NO HOBO.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

when the dentist tries to have a conversation with you while you're in the dentist chair

as if going to the dentist wasn't bad enough... those bitches always try to talk to me when i'm getting my teeth cleaned! there they are scratching away, there i am cringing and they're like...

dentist: so Monica, how's work going?
me: good
dentist: so you work in casting right, what exactly do you do
me: well wah wah wah wah wah wah... YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND A DAMN THING I'M SAYING LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!


IRRITATING.

Friday, January 15, 2010

TRAFFIC.

OK this one is a bit obvious. But traffic seriously irritates me. I slept over at my cousin's house the other night and it took me an hour and 45 minutes to get to work! I just don't understand traffic. I get it, sort of, there are a lot of cars at the same time which creates congestion. What I don't get is why randomly you go 3 mph and then 45 and then come to a screeching halt. There is no clear reason, no accident, no construction, not really a lot of people entering or exiting the highway... it doesn't make sense. sometimes I think theres just some asshole in the front who wants to irritate everyone. Anyway, traffic is IRRITATING... obvi.

Monday, January 11, 2010

people that send angry text messages/emails

So... I borrowed this carving knife like a year ago from this girl who shall not be named... although I might as well name her bc if she reads this she'll know its about her... but she deserves to know that its IRRITATING. I get a facebook message this morning about how the knife that I returned over a year ago was missing a blade implying that I knew that when I returned it to her and that she hasn't even used her $7.99 carving knife and its RUINED. wah wah wah. I'm like... bitch, you could have approached this differently. If she had said... hey, remember that knife... there's a blade missing... do you have it? I would have been like OMG I'm so sorry! I'll replace it immediately! But no. I get this hostile, bitchy, COWARDLY facebook message. IRRITATING. Also, I find angry text messages to be cowardly and irritating. Just man up and call me if you're angry. DAMN I'm irritated.

Friday, January 8, 2010

the curse of the gift card

Just went to Nordstrom... with a rather large gift card in my pocket. I FOUND NOTHING. Tried on a bunch of stuff on in BP, ventured on over to t.b.d.... tried to buy a pair of shoes, all the while not even looking/caring about the price. and NOTHING. They couldn't have paid me to spend my money there. Now that's IRRITATING.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

People who repeat everything you say on the phone.

Just called out an an audition appointment....

The guy repeated everything I said.

Me: 1041 N. Formosa
Guy: 1041 N. Formosa.

Me: Santa Monica Ea...
Guy: Santa Monica.

Me. EAST. building...
Guy: East building.

etc. etc. etc. LITERALLY REPEATED EVERYTHING.

THEN AT THE END HE REPEATED THE ENTIRE MESSAGE.


IRRITATING.